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Jul 31, 2012 | Ora Houston

Commentary: No One Form of Abuse

A question to people of faith: “What does a person who is abused look like?”

 

They look like every day people. They may be sitting in the pew next to you; be a member of the choir; teach Sunday school; a member of the Vestry; male; female; gay; straight; high resourced folks; and people with limited resources. They look like me!

 

There are many types of abuse: financial, verbal, sexual, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. Physical abuse receives the mostattention because daily, in every community, people are killed as a result of domestic violence – the victim or the abuser. The other types of abuse are just as deadly – the wounds are internal, invisible and can last a lifetime.

 

What can we do to protect and support those who are experiencing abuse? Those of us who have actively escaped abusive situations must speak up and share our stories. What keeps us from talking about our abuse? We are not vocal because we experience the same things that inhibit people in abusive relationships from seeking assistance – feelings of shame, embarrassment, inadequacy and low worth. However, the gift we offer people who are struggling is a vision of what is possible. A vision of hope! It is noteasy. There will be difficult decisions and hard work required to heal and become whole again. We, survivors, are living proof that transformation is possible. The pain and hurt from an abusive relationship can be overcome.

 

As communities of faith we must be aware of the cycle of violence, the resources in the area that are available to help us, and the people we are trying to help. Call the National Hot-line for Domestic Violence, located in Austin, 800.787.3224, phones are answered 24/7 or there may be a local number in your community. Contact resources to assist a person in need of help or to learn how to be of assistance to someone.

 

Communities of faith can identify space that will allow opportunities for victims, abusers, subject matter experts and members of faith to talk about abuse, in whatever form(s) it is found. A space to acknowledge openly and without shame that abuse is real, is a sin before God and that we are willing to learn how to walk with and nurture adults and children back to wholeness.

 

As a survivor of domestic violence, I invited St. James', Austin, to participate in the 77th General Convention of the Episcopal Church by donating funds and items to The Julian Center in Indianapolis. A tour of the Center included the following spaces: administrative,legal, police unit, counseling, human trafficking advocates, kitchen, and day care; a class room staffed by the school district; emergency shelter beds, transitional beds, a court yard, garden area, and play areas for youth; and off site supportive housing apartment units. The ability for women to go to one, safe location to access required resources is extremely important.

 

The amazing response to the mission of The Center was overwhelming:  $500 was delivered to the Development Officer; 65 pounds of clothing, hair accessories, books and toiletries were collected and shipped; and through a partnership with the Hanes Corporation, several containers of clothing were shipped to the Indianapolis.

 

Our congregation will remember the 77th General Convention because of outreach to women and children supported by The Julian Center. The staff of the Center will remember Episcopalians because of a caring congregation deep in the Heart of Tejas~

 

My prayer is that a light will be placed on the issue of domestic violence in our communities.